Best Enemies
by Culpeo Fox
Summary: When Dib decides to give up the science of the paranormal, what does that do to his... enemy relation with Zim? Would Dib still be ready to defend Earth if Zim decides to try something actually serious, or would the both of them be left to die of boredom?
1. Real Science

**A/N:** After some thought, I thought I'd try this out. You know, the unfinished episodes and all, well, this one, where Dib gives up the paranormal and all caught my eye. And all, though, I haven't heard the audio or seen any visual (if any) I still want to try it out.

So... yeah. Here is the first chapter. Sorry for it's shortness, but it is late (timewise).

No relationships! Gah... no no no. I don't mind them, but I don't think I'll write any. Maybe a touch of friendship at the end, but it will probably just bounce back to enemies very quickly. :P

Enjoy.

Invader Zim (c) Jhonen Vasquez

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Best Enemies

Chapter 1: Real Science

Dib sat at his desk in his room, watching a flashing computer monitor closely. Waiting, for any form of life to appear on the other side so he could record it and show it to the world.

Dib waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

After countless minutes, and possibly hours, Dib finally sighed, pushing the massive amounts of cluttered paper and a bunch of other junk out of the way. Resting his arms on the desk, his head soon followed, and his eyes began to feel heavy as he watched the monitor.

There had been some movement, yes. But only of the little robot, GIR, running wildly back and forth through one part of the house to the other. Sometimes holding a pig, or moose in his hands, other times, wearing the green dog suit which Dib could not believe fooled anybody.

Dog's where not green. Nor did they stand up on two hind legs, or take or the garbage or bring in groceries.

But Dib didn't care about the robot. He tired to explain it to people before, but they shrugged it off, saying it was just a government experiment, or a toy, or some wacked up guy in a robot suit. And, although GIR's antics did make Dib laugh sometimes, Dib grew increasingly tired of just seeing the little robot.

"Where is Zim…" Dib mumbled to himself, "Where is he? What is he doing?" Sitting upright suddenly, and spinning around on his chair, he jumped off it, landing smoothly on the floor amongst the clutter of paranormal thingies. He kicked at one of them with his foot, "Zim's probably planning out his next _evil_ plan."

"I hear you talking in there," A voice muttered from outside the hallway, "It's giving me a headache."

"Gaz," Dib breathed, thinking more about Zim than what his sister was doing. Suddenly, as though a light switched was turned on, Dib jumped to life, springing out his door and calling out his sister's name.

Gaz stopped walking and slowly turned around, the Game Slave 2 stuck firmly between her hands. "_What_ Dib?"

"Zim! It's Zim! He's planning… planning out his _next evil plan!_" Dib exclaimed, his arms flailing madly around his head. "We gotta stop him! Actually… find out what he's doing first _and then_ stop him!"

One of Gaz's eyes widened and she stared at her brother, "Dib… if I hear Zim's name come from your mouth one more time I will… I will…" Gaz paused talking, her fingers stopped moving rapidly over the buttons of her game. Small minor tone beeps came from the speakers and a resounding 'Game Over' was said. Both of Gaz's eyes widened and then narrowed at her brother, "This is your fault Dib! Your fault! I was so close, so close to the final boss…" She turned on her heel and continued to walk down the hallway, muttering low threats to her brother.

Dib cried out in frustration, "Somebody's got to believe me! Somebody…"

After standing in the hallway for a while, Dib sighed, his shoulders falling and he slouched forward. Turning around, he headed back to his room and walked amongst the paranormal tools and thingies on the floor. Sitting on his bed, his eyes drifted towards the monitor. The was static. _Zim must have found the camera… again. That… or GIR just threw a pig or moose and caused it to break._

Sighing, Dib slid off his bed and started to do something he never thought he'd be doing… especially since Zim arrived on Earth. He started to gather up all his paranormal equipment and piled it in a neat-ish pile. Grabbing a few large garbage bags from the kitchen, he returned to his room, shoving everything inside. Once the garbage bags where full to the point of splitting, he pushed everything under his bed and left the room.

"I'll just give everything up," Dib mused silently to himself, heading towards the basement of the house, "Let the paranormal be just the past. Just a part of my life where I maybe was… crazy. Forget about Bigfoot, Chupacabra… _Zim_."

Dib paused outside of the door to the basement, resting his hand on the knob. Twisting it, a glowing blue light met his eyes, and he slowly descended into the basement, to the sounds of sparks and other high tech sciency things.

"Dad," Dib said, as he reached the bottom.

A man in a long, white science lab coat spun around quickly, looking at Dib through his goggled eyes, "Yes, son?"

"I'm going to… I want to…" Dib bit at his lip before straightening up and pushing everything he's known aside, "I am going to forget about the paranormal science, and embrace actual science!"

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**Reviews?**


	2. Yeah, Whatever Zim

**A/N:** Another chapter. :)

Nothing much to say for this chapter, just that I hope I did the characters justice.

Invader Zim (c) Jhonen Vasquez

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Best Enemies

Chapter 2: Yeah, Whatever Zim.

"Oooops…"

GIR looked down at the broken piece of equipment lying in the front room of the house. Little colourful wires protruded from one end where it had been attached the uppermost corner of the wall. GIR pushed out a foot, and tapped the broken camera, which was now sparking from the wires. Laughing, and forgetting about the broken camera, he continued to run around, a small toy moose in one hand, a pink piggy in the other.

"GIR? What is _this_?"

GIR turned towards Zim, who had now stepped into the room and stared down at the broken camera.

"I don't know…" GIR replied, looking back down at the camera too.

"Hmm." Zim narrowed his eyes and bent down towards the camera, picking it up between two fingers and holding it as far as he could from his body like it was a wild animal… or some form of smelly trash. He began to laugh, and swiftly chucked the camera towards the door, "Must be The _Dib_-monkey again. Ahaha, will he never _learn_?"

"Oh… goodie… at least I broked something that was not yours…" GIR closed his cyan eyes happily, and began to run around with the toys again.

"GIR, I have a new plan to destroy these _filthy_ dirt-babies." Zim said, walking towards the door and putting his disguise on, "It's pretty _ingenious_ if I do say so myself… and I want to get started as soon as possible!"

"Okaaay!" GIR exclaimed, jumping up into the air He did a series of flips and twists before landing in the feet of his doggy suit. Zipping it up, he pulled the hood over his head and gave Zim a thumbs up.

Zim opened the door, and both him and GIR exited the base, walking quickly out of the cal-de-sac.

"Wheeere're weeee goin'?" GIR asked once they turned the corner.

"To that place the _filthy_ hyumans collect water from." Zim muttered, looking around.

"The ocean?"

"No GIR."

"A lake?"

"No… it's like what the robotic beavers build… or something like that." Zim waved a gloved hand in the air, "But hyumans built it."

"Oooh…" GIR breathed.

"Once there, I will put _this_-" Zim reached a hand into his PAK and pulled out a circular object with flashing crimson red lights around it.

"What is it!?" GIR asked loudly, taking the round object from Zim's hands, and cutting Zim off on what he was going to say.

"It's a draining device."

"Oh…" GIR turned it around in his now stubby black paws, "WHAT is IT!?"

"A draining device, GIR!" Zim repeated, annoyed.

"What's it do!?"

Zim slapped a hand to his forehead, and dragged it down the front of his face. Taking the ball from GIR's paws, they turned another corner. Zim, not watching where he was going, tripping over something over the sidewalk, the draining device flying from his hands and landing in some grass by the fence.

"Hey! It's that Big Head Kid!" GIR exclaimed, running up to the now muttering _person_ on the ground. "Watcha doin'?"

"_DIB!_" Zim growled, standing up quickly and brushing dirt off himself, "Already planning to ruin my _plans_!? Huh!?"

"What?" The person, Dib, stood up and brushed his own dirt off himself, "What plans?"

"Ah-HA!" Zim pointed a finger at Dib," My plan to…" He paused, the words Dib had really said actually got through and processed in the Invader's brain. Zim was confused, though… he'd never admit it. "Don't play dumb, Dib-stink! I know _you_ know!"

Dib leaned over and closed a metal looking briefcase, "No, Zim… I don't know."

"AH-HA! I knew… what?" Zim caught himself once again, and stared stupidly at the Dib creature.

"His Big Head must've shrunk!" GIR exclaimed, waving his little paws in the air, "Are you shrinking Big Head Kid!?" Are ya!?"

Dib looked down at the green dog and back up at the confused Invader. "For real, Zim… I'm not playing, I'm done." Dib didn't spare another glance at the two before walking away from them.

"Oh… he don't want to play today, master!" GIR exclaimed, running towards Dib, "Why don't cha want to play today!?"

Zim just stood there, watching Dib walk away from him. That was good, right? Dib was walking away, leaving this filthy dirt ball of a planet in the hands of Zim. Nobody would stand in his way anymore. Ever!

"What's this do?" Dib asked suddenly, leaning down and picking up the draining device that flew from Zim's hands.

Zim took this as an opportunity to attack the Dib hyuman. Although, it wasn't really much of an attack as it was just jumping at him and snatching the draining device from his hands.

"Ah! Thought you could _outsmart_ the mighty _ZIM!_" Zim exclaimed, holding the device high above his head. He quickly brought it back down and shielded it behind his body, "You will never, _never_ outsmart _me_, Dib! _Never!_"

Dib sighed, growing tired of the alien and his robot. "Yeah, whatever Zim." He turned, and continued to walk away, towards his house.

Zim growled in frustration. The Dib was acting nothing like he usually did. Maybe this was another of his ploys, a plot to sneak attack Zim. Maybe Dib was actually going to outsmart Zim. No… Zim would have none of that.

"Run while you can, now, Dib-monkey!" Zim yelled after Dib's walking away form, "But I'll be watching _YOU!_ You will never be able to _outsmart_ ZIM! I will know! I'll know!"

"Bye-BYE, Shrinking Big Head Kid! Bye-bye!" GIR called happily, waving a black paw in the air.

Zim, however, was not happy at all. Confused as can be at why Dib was not trying to steal his device, or put a stop to his plans, Zim turned and stomped away, GIR skipping after him.

"Oh, he'll be back, GIR," Zim muttered, placing the device back into his PAK, "He'll find us at the hyuman water collecting facility, and he'll try to put a stop to our plans."


	3. Just A Loop

**A/N:** I'm tired. So yeah, just wanted to get something writen, so I sat down and did it. Dead tired, haven't slept in about four days now. -.- want to sleep... sleeeeep.

Anyway, here is the next chapter to Best Enemies. Hope you like.

Invader Zim (c) Jhonen Vasquez

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Best Enemies

Chapter 3: Just a Loop

The rest of the journey towards their destination, Zim was on constant edge. He figured, that The Dib would be around any possibly corner, waiting to snatch the draining device from his PAK. Force it from him, and run off with it to destroy it.

Every corner.

Every corner Zim pushed himself against the nearest building, and poked an eye around it, making sure The Dib wasn't there.

Every single corner.

Every corner, Zim got more tired, and more tired of doing this, until he just lazily peaked around one.

Every corner.

After a while, Zim stopped caring whether or not The Dib was around it, and just continued to walk. GIR however, kept up the game of peaking and continued to do so. Humming his own little spy theme to himself, and jumping around corners, tumbling as he landed. Falling behind as he did so, but he would merely run to the next corner ahead of Zim, and do it again.

Zim however, did not keep up the enthusiasm. And soon, the Irken's steps got shorter, his legs didn't kick out in a march and he got lazy. And soon after that, the Irken slouched, and the heels of his boots started to drag on the concrete.

Zim was soon falling behind GIR.

"What is _wrong_ with me!?" Zim finally exclaimed, mostly to no one and he picked himself up, standing straighter, "Without the _filthy_ Earth beast in my way, I will easily destroy these hyumans no problem!"

"Where're we goin'!?" GIR suddenly yelled in response to hearing his master speak… finally.

"GIR, we are still going to the _same_ place." Zim replied, starting to walk quickly again, lifting his feet off the pavement and standing up straight, "It will be so easy! So _very_ easy! No more of The Dib to foil my plans! The Earth will soon be _mine_."

Excited with this new revelation, Zim picked up his pace, and soon, was running to get to the outskirts of the city, and to the place where he could put the draining device.

"The _Daaaaaaam._" GIR stretched out the word, and he tilted his head a bit as he read the sign, "What's a dam?""A Dam, GIR, is where the _filthy hyumans_ clean their poisonous water or collect it… or something like that." Zim said quickly, uninterested, looking across the very large cannon the dam created when it was built. Small, tubes stuck out of the one side and water spilled out. Not nearly enough to replenish the cannon, but enough to keep the now tiny river flowing.

"Oh… but why we here!?" GIR exclaimed, following Zim to the edge of the cannon.

"GIR, I found out that hyumans can't survive without this burning stuff," Zim explained as he stared down into the cannon, "They need it to sustain themselves. _Pathetic!_"

"Oh…" GIR breathed, looking over the edge as well.

"And once I drain all their _wa-ter_ from this dam, they will all DIE!" Zim exclaimed, grabbing the draining device from his PAK and holding it above his head. "Nobody will stop me this time, the Dib has given up! Zim is _victorious!_"

"Yay!" GIR clapped his little paws together happily.

"No, GIR, that's - wait… yes GIR, that's good." Zim muttered, letting his arms fall back down, holding the draining device in front of him.

"YAY!" GIR repeated, slightly more louder this time.

The two where silent for a bit, and Zim peered around. This was usually the time when The Dib would spring out and try to foil his plans. Zim waited. Knowing that this plan was sure to work, he wanted the Dib-stink to be here to witness. To watch, powerless as Zim drained all of this filthy city's water supply.

Zim waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

The only sounds to reach his covered antennae where those of distant cars, or various Earth-beasts in the trees.

Zim heard nothing of the Dib hyuman. No awkward sounds of tumbling through the bushes. Nothing.

"What are we doing?" GIR asked, breaking the silence and looking at the Invader, who was now sitting on the grass, rolling the draining device back and forth between his gloved hands.

"You know, GIR," Zim started, continuing to roll the draining device, "Without The Dib here, witnessing the amazing-ness of Zim…"

Zim couldn't explain it. He had been so eager, so ready to finally get one step closer to destroying this disgusting filth ball of a planet. And now, ever since The Dib renounced his studies of the paranormal - which meant following Zim around like the alien was about to implode or something - Zim didn't feel it in him to continue.

The thought of destroying the world, unopposed was very, very appealing to Zim. But then, there would be no one to spread the word of what Zim was doing. No one to get the Earth-pigs to find fear before their destruction. And oh, how Zim wanted the last moments of the hyumans pathetic lives to be in fear and terror.

Zim sighed heavily and stood up, placing the draining device back into his PAK. "Come GIR," He looked down at the robot, running in a circle throughout the long grass, effectively creating a path to where he was running.

"Look master! I made a crop circle!" GIR laughed, jumping out of the continuous loop he had created. It went on forever. It started, and never ended. It was just a loop.

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**A/N:** NO! It's not going to be a ZADR of any kind. No no no no no, if that is what is going through your head.

No.

No.

No.

Zim just enjoyes the thrill of possibly destroying the world with an audience who actually understands what is going on. Even if the audience is only comprised of one person named Dib.

Reviews?


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